i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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