are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize