i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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