She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
