Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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