So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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