What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
