Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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