I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The power of my boobs compel you
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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