id be glad to
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who died my cat blue again?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
