Christians are straight up FREAKS
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
