This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
