I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
why is half of my head shaved?
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