Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
