I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
