dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
