and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
