I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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