I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
