yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
