you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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