I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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