I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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