we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
