Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
