eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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