Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
