Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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