Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize