kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
