she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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