There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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