Will you blow on my dice?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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