This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
