why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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