At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
