i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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