I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
