sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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