You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize