How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this will be a night to untag.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
