wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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