There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
