Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
