i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
