Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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