Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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