You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
