Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
