how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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