Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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