You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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