my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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