he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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