I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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