i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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