We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
