playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So many bounce houses so little time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
