Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She bit a glass in half.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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