Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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