Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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