He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
