the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
