I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
