Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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