You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
