I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
